Soulmates Forever
Athena Muhammad
9/24
My husband and I were soulmates, I used to think that it could never be disputed, but I am disputing it now.What do you do when you break up with your soulmate, and are you still soulmates afterwards? That is the topic I will be examining in this essay. Informal as it is.
My thesis is that we are still soulmates, however we are not in love, nor do I wish to go back. We are still soulmates because, perhaps the definition of a soulmate is just someone you are meant to be with, someone that changes your life significantly. I will re-examine the definition of soulmate in further paragraphs. The current working definition of soulmate is,
"A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner,"
-Oxford Dictionary
and there are no requirements for how long you stay with that person, or your treatment of each other. So, potentially, in an abusive relationship, that abuser or that abusee could potentially be your soulmate. My definition of a soulmate is, someone you are destined to be with, that changes your life significantly. However, this definition is too broad, and could include family, friends or people that have died. In this essay I will examine both potentialities and determine which is better suited and more realistic.
The first reason I do not like the Oxford definition of soulmate, is because it does not address the problem of whether you should stay with your soulmate or not. Are they no longer your soulmate once you leave? The problem I am addressing here is the classic version of soulmate that everyone has grown up with. The version that says, once you find your soulmate, you are theirs forever, and the fact that you will be together forever is understood. Soulmates are life partners and if they are not, then they are not soulmates. I believed I found my soulmate, but then we separated. Does he still remain my soulmate? Based on the Oxford definition of soulmate, it is not conditional upon that person to stay in order, to remain your soulmate. However, in the social sense it is definitely a condition. Logically, in the social sense, if you are no longer together with the person you considered your soulmate, then they were not your soulmate in the first place. This is the fact I am disputing. My thesis is, you do not have to be together with your soulmate in order to consider them thus.
Which is why I propose to change the definition to be anyone in your life who changes you in a significant manner. Perhaps my formal definition would be,
" A soulmate is any romantic partner who significantly changes your life for the better or worse."
Excluding the condition of being ideally suited for one another. Were me and Omar ideally suited for one another? I would say no; however, he appeared at the right time in my life, at the right place and at the right moment. We were in love and we were soulmates. Based on my emotions right now, I want to say we are still soulmates, but it is the true emotion of fear, that doesn't allow me to voice the words. If I say we are soulmates, does that mean we are still connected, or that I still have some residual love left for him? Perhaps it is just out of respect that I give him that title. We are soulmates, but including in the factor that people naturally grow in change throughout life, we are no longer suited for each other.
Based on these inferences, my new definition of soulmate would be,
" Any romantic interest in your life that changes you for the better or worse, ideally suited for you in that moment, regardless of whether you stay with them or not."
Now I will point out the problems with this definition. With the inclusion of what moment in time you are in, anyone can be your soulmate, based on the condition of destiny, and the belief that everything you have in your life is completely planned and divided for you, based on the belief of a perfect and omnipotent God. With this definition, anyone you are currently with, is your soulmate. For example, if you have bad health insurance and your partner put you on their plan. Then that person is ideally suited for you in that moment, because you have no health insurance, but they do. However, this person may not change you at all, except in a minor fashion, such as, helping you get back on your feet. Perhaps the definition should be,
" Any romantic interest in your life that changes your personality or your mindset significantly, ideally suited for you, in such a way as you can never regret or return to the past, whether you stay with them or not."
This definition is considerably better; however, there is the slight problem of being ideally suited for one another. Which is why I used the words in the previous definition of " ideally suited for you in that moment." For example, a 30 year old man with a college student is not necessarily an ideal match in my eyes. Omar and I were both students, both Muslim and both wished to be married. We were ideally suited for one another in that moment. Based on this observation, I would have to agree with my previous statement in the second paragraph that I give him the title of soulmate out of respect, but also unfortunately, it is a true fact. We are still soulmates, with the working definition of
" Any romantic interest that God, himself, chooses for you, regardless of whether you stay with them or not."
They are your soulmate, as ordained by the stars. However, religious as I am, and I believer in the natural philosophy of human beings, this cannot be so between me and Omar. The working definition for soulmate in the social sense, as depicted in TV, movies and in general speaking with other people, your soulmate is not supposed to leave you, and definitively speaking, once you leave that person you and the individual are no longer soulmates.The new definition would be,
"A specific romantic interest that changes your life and personality significantly, that you cannot return to your previous state of existence."
Now, this is a more open definition that includes God and allows for the fact that you and your partner may not be together forever. Perhaps the very fact that they were your soulmate is what determines why you cannot return to your previous state of existence after you or the other party involved has left. I am arguing that even though you have left your soulmate, the fact that they had that title is still true and will never change. Giving an individual the title of soulmate, then taking it away, defeats the purpose of them being your soulmate in the first place. With that said the answer to the question of, are they no longer your soulmate once you leave in the second paragraph is, yes, once you or the other party involved leaves, they are still your soulmate, as soulmate is a title given by God himself, and cannot be removed and taken away so easily. To do so would most likely be a great sin, in the fact that you have denied a great gift that God has given you. One, that you have found your soulmate, which is a rare occurrence in itself, and two you have not acknowledged that this was a destined relationship for you, denying the existence of God himself.With that said I will conclude my essay.
What do you do when you break up with your soulmate, and do they remain so afterwards? My answer to the first part of this question is typically you would be broken-hearted and you would not be the same individual, personality speaking, or your mindset would be changed significantly, for the better or worse. Perhaps you have taken up drinking or some other bad behavior, or you have turned to a life of virtue. Does the other party remain and keep the title of soulmate? I am of the conception that they would still retain the title of soulmate, as taking it away, denies the fact that they were your soulmate in the first place and you have denied God in doing so. In the end I have turned away both the Oxford defintion of soulmate and my own definition to reach the new conclusion that the definition of soulmate should be,
"A specific romantic interest that changes your life and
personality significantly, that you cannot return to your previous state
of existence."
I believe this should be the working definition of soulmate because, the word 'specific,' allows for the occurrence of destiny rather than any, which allows multiple people to be your soulmate. In the natural philosophy of humans, soulmate is always one individual. This definition is better suited and more realistic to life, because despite the classic definition of soulmate, you do not always stay with that party you have determined to be your soulmate. So, in conclusion, me and Omar are still soulmates, though we are no longer ideally suited for one another. That is my reason for leaving him, and he will always remain an important aspect of my existence.
Comments
Post a Comment